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I've been waiting a week for this...

So last year after the office finale I wrote an essay on why I hated Karen.  This year will be about why I hated the finale.

Why I Hated "Goodbye, Toby"
By: Shannon Locke

The season finale of The Office was a disappointing end to the already shaky season 4.  In the past The Office has brought wonderful season finales leaving the audience pondering the future and squealing (or in my case crying) with joy.
I just can't fathom how we went from this...

To this...

to THIS!!!!!!

The season gave us many wonderful JAM moments. I jumped on my couch like a child when Pam pulled her Yaris around the building to pick up Jim who greeted her eagerly with a kiss.  A sleepover at a beet farm that gave us cuddling for a bed time story and two pushed together non-standard mattresses.  We learned just how hard things were for Jim while he tried to comfort a heartbroken Dwight.  And best of all, Jim did something he's never done...try.  He bought a ring a week after they started dating and promised Pam and all Jammers a kick-ass proposal.  When his talking head revealed his plan to propose that night, there in the office my face looked a lot like his...

We didn't get our proposal.  Something all of my friends expected.  But I was hopeful that the writers would throw us a bone just one time.  He didn't propose and Pam is sad...too sad.  And now we've got all summer to wonder if Greg Daniels is an evil sadist and doesn't want anyone to ever be happy...ever.

If that is the case you can all write to me in prison...or possibly the crazy house.

Please...please watch

I wish I could stop laughing....I can't

The Landlord: starring Will Ferrel and introducing Pearl

baaah I love it

Aye Aye Aye

This is a random entry...be prepared

- I realized earlier that I was in the hospital a year ago today....yikes

        five reasons why I love Prof. Matthew Bunce
  1. The way he pronounces words
  2. He wrote "fuck this class" on the board once
  3. When he does random shit like take off his shoes for no reason
  4. He has a facebook, and uses it often
  5. He had a hickey on his neck today
- Last night I was craving beer for some reason, and so I drank one...I thought I hated beer...guess not

I am so freakin stressed right now I can barely see straight.  You see I got a new job at Allen's Boots...(thats all I will say because It's very famous and someone might google search it and I might get in trouble)... I am a terrible salesperson...I seriously suck.  and I have like 8 jillion things to do and my desk is messy so i cant concentrate but I dont have any time to clean it and I think I might seriously EXPLODE!!!!

I'm just going to watch The Office awhile while I work on a project, since that seems to be the only thing that calms me...

The story of a girl whose room was too hot

Ok so this is the story of my night tonight

2:00am - original attempt for bed

2:01am - 3:30am - watch The Office in bed

3:31am - put computer away and attempt tp sleep...discover that I am very hot

3:33am - change pajamas

3:35am - try to sleep lower to the ground on roomie's bed...

3:36am - feel way too guilty, return to own bed

3:40am - decide underwear is best

3:45am - place wet towel on head in attempt to cool down

3:48am - place towel in freezer to cool more

3:55am - towel is colder, but still not helping me

4:00am - completely fed up, go outside in the 22 degree freezing sleet...feel refreshed

4:02am - still way too hot in room

4:20am - decide to take cold shower, dont bring a towel...drip dry

4:30am - although wet, room is still really hot

4:40am - going against dorm rules, open window...no breeze, completely pointless

4:45am - try once more to sleep

5:00am - give up completely, write journal entry about adventures

I hate hate hate hate hate that we cannot control the temperature of our own rooms....uuuugh


Ive finally fixed my stinking layout to something I can actually tolerate

Ive recently been getting back into LJ which is very nice, and I blame it all on ljsecret i'm completely obsessed...go check it out!
but a warning to those easily offended, some secrets contain cursing and nudity...dont read at work!

what's going on in my life? I should write something for when I look back on this later.  Lets see, my first college semester is finished, which is nice.  My grades suck hardcore, but i've definately learned my lesson for next semester.  College was a lot harder than I thought...yikes

Umm, JD and I's 2 year anniversary was 2 months ago today actually...he bought me a ring it's gorgeous...

see...lovely huh?

It doesnt mean anything like an engagement, so dont worry...but it is pretty...yay

hmm, we got a puppy a few months ago, her name is Riley...she is a labradoodle like this one...

but that's not her...she looks like that though.  she is stupid and my parents spoil her way too much...but i know it's just because I'm not around so they have to spoil someone right?

I need to paint my nails and go to sleep

night night fools

Fun Game

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool

Opening Credits: Lick It Up - Kiss

Waking Up: Punjabiyan Di Shaan - Hansraj Hans

First Day At School: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Falling In Love: Untitled I - Keane

Fight Song: Your Eyes - RENT

Breaking Up: Lessons Learned - Carrie Underwood

Prom: Out of the Blue - Aly & AJ

Life's Ok: All Falls Down - Kanye West

Mental Breakdown: Not What It Seems - Something Corporate

Driving: Crazy Beautiful - Hanson

Flashback: A Summer In Ohio - The Last 5 Years

Getting Back Together: Me and The Moon - Something Corporate (thats awesome, its about a woman killing her husband hahah)

Wedding: Mama, I'm Alright - Miranda Lambert

Birth of a child: Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon

Final Battle: Tiny Dancer - Elton John

Death Scene: Rush - Aly & AJ

Funeral Song: - Nothing In This World - Paris Hilton

End Credits: - House of Tom Bombadill - Nickel Creek

ok, that was ridiculous...but here's how I would do it if I didn't have to shuffle

Opening Credits: Lick It Up - Kiss (i'll keep that one, it kicks ass)

Waking Up: Flake - Jack Johnson

First Day At School: Breathe - Michelle Branch

Falling In Love: We Danced - Brad Paisley

Fight Song: Don't Stop Believing - Journey

Breaking Up: Konstantine - Something Corporate

Prom: Keep On Loving You - REO Speedwagon

Life's Ok: Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

Mental Breakdown: Cavanaugh Park - Something Corporate

Driving: Lost Without Each Other - Hanson

Flashback: Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap

Getting Back Together: Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen

Wedding: Tiny Dancer - Elton John

Birth of a child: Sweet Afton - Nickel Creek

Final Battle: Leiley - Dania

Death Scene: Alibi - David Gray

Funeral Song: - I'll Cover You Reprise - RENT

End Credits: - Good Morning Starshine - Hair

Mine was waay better
My iTunes is so kickace

I am really very bored

>Babe or Baby: baby
>Sweetie or Honey: honey
>Darling or Dear: eew neither

>hug or kiss: kiss
>white or black: white
>ground or sky: sky

>kissing on the bed or kissing in the rain: I'll say bed, as romantic as it sounds, kissing in the rain is cold..and wet...and not that glamorous
>watching a scary movie or a funny one: funny
>holding hands or being held: being held
>held at the shoulders or held at the waist: waist, i guess..im a hand holder
>holding or being held: being held, but I like to be the big spoon sometimes...haha


B- BEST SPORT?: baseball

C- CRUSH?: On the Take Home Chef...does that count?

D- DOGS NAME?: Riley

E- Easiest person(s) to talk to?: John David or Danielle or Laurie

F- FAV. COLOR?: I like shades of purple

G- GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS?: gummy bears...covered in chocolate....aaahhhh!!!

H- HOMETOWN?: Valencia, CA...but Austin is my home

I- INSTRUMENT?: guitar and im starting pinano


K- KIND OF MUSIC?: anything, I love Pujnabi Techno and 80's glam rock...so I mean I'm open

L- LONGEST CAR RIDE?: Texas to Cali...ugh

M- MILK FLAVOR?: it comes in flavors? Chocolate...oh yeah, thats a flavor


O- ONE WISH?: I would like to be invisible...or be able to stop time!! that would be wicked

P- PHOBIA/FEARS?: Chucky, the dark, fish out of water, and a whole lot of dumb things

Q- FAV. QUOTE?: if we're being serious I dig, "It's never too late to be what you might have been" - George Eliot...but if were gonna be funny...prolly, "So I said to myself, Kyle..." - Eric Matthews

R- REASON TO SMILE?: I'm in love

S- SONG YOU LAST HEARD?: The Simpsons theme I guess

T- TIME YOU WOKE UP TODAY?: 9:15...yeah I skipped lecture, what you gon' do about it?

U- UNKNOWN FACTS ABOUT YOU? I'm very clumsy, I like to color in coloring books


W- WORST HABIT?: procrastinating

X- X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD?: oh jeeze, hands (3x), knee, face...yes face

Y- YUMMY FOOD?: Macky Cheeeeee

Z- Zodiac Sign?: Aquarius

1. Do you like Chinese food?: I like white rice and egg drop soup...does that even count?

2. How big is your bed? home, Queen...school, icky twin

3. Is your room clean?: ahhhhahahahahahahaha

4. Laptop or Desktop computer? lappy

5. Favorite comedian? It was Dane Cook, then everyone stole him...prolly Mitch Hedberg...miss ya mitch

6. Do you smoke? no way

7. Does anyone like you? John David likes me...if someone else does...sweet...that means im pretty!! right?

8. What’s the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice? she has bad hair...that is sexy in its own way

10. Sleep with or without clothes on? with...but when the roomate is away, the other roomate will play! hahah

11. Who sleeps with you every night? Ralph (JD's stuffed dog) and Kiki (my blanket)

12. Do long distance relationships work? yes they do...I've got 2 years under my belt to prove it

13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police? Once, and I got a $50 ticket for running a stop sign...damn

14. Pancakes or French Toast? Pancakes

15. Do you like coffee? mmmmm yes

16. How do you like your eggs? Over hard, or scrambled w/cheese

17. Do you believe in astrology? haha no freakin way

18. Last person you talked to on the phone? The receptionist in the admissions office

19. Last person on your missed call list? John David

20. What was the last text message you received? a long one about airfare from Daniellypoo

21. McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds please

22. Number of pillows? 2

24. Last thing you bought? dinner last night

25. What are you hearing right now? The telivision, and Rico splashing around

27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? grape

28. Can you play pool? no, I shoot left-handed...im not left-handed...thats how bad I am

29. Do you know how to swim? yes I do

3o. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate Peanut Butter from Baskin Robbins

31. Do you like maps? I cant fold them!!

32. Tell me a random fact: My hands are really cold

34. Ever attend a theme party? no! how boring

36. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking? umm...Laurie's floor? is that even weird?

37. What is your favorite season? It was winter, but now that it's cold I take it back

38. What is the first music video you ever saw? Like I remember?

39. Pick a movie quote: "You're a virgin, I think that's great...because...you dont have chlamydia...and that shit is everywhere"

41. What is your favorite hangout? my room

42. Song Playing at the moment? No song, just TV! we already covered this!

43.Last time you laughed at something stupid? today when I actually saw some of "Yo Mama"

45. Favorite possesion at the moment? the 23 diamonds set in white gold that are wrapped around my left ring finger....squeee

46. Best thing about winter? Christmas! duuuh!

47. What month is your birthday in? February

48. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? Realy pirates were very bad and scary...pirate movies are cool

49. Favorite Day of the week? Friday

50. What are you doing this weekend? I dont freakin know!!


can't sleep, must vent about life

I really honestly don't know how i've slipped back to this point.

I was doing so well, seriously I was

Lauren's passing really shook me up I guess.  I have days where I don't get out of bed because I have no motivation to do anything.  I'm crying too much again.

I take medicine, they make me take medicine...why doesn't it work anymore?

I'd been having a really rouch week and it all just came to a head last night.  I was on JD's computer, checking my e-mail or something.  I was staring at his desktop of Jennifer Aniston and I looked over at him...he was furious over the UT game.  I just suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of sadness.  I hated everything, I hate Jennifer Aniston, I hated UT, I hated that he was watching football and not watching me...I just hated everything.  I excused myself to go take a bath...I didn't need a bath, but the bathroom was the only other room I could go.  I cried in the bathtub over absolutely nothing.  JD came in and asked me if i was ok, I insisted that I was...but I didn't want him to look at me.  I don't know why I was just ashamed...over nothing...ugh.  Then he turned off the game and said we could watch Junebug.  He asked me what the point of the movie was, more crying.  I went to go get a cookie, he said they were Eric's cookies...more crying.  He finally made me talk to him and I told him how I'd been feeling, about all the crying, the not getting out of bed, the being self-consious again.  About how much research I've been doing on plastic surgery.  I was telling him about how I hate college because I spend all my time by myself and he told me to stop being negative.  I didn't say anything and he just rolled over.  I couldnt take it anymore so I went and slept out in the living room.  JD came out to ask me to come back to bed twice but I shrugged him off.  I expected him to stay and fight me and make me come back, but he didnt.  So i got really really angry, I wasn't crying I was just mad.  I yelled at him and he offered to sleep in the living room, I told him not to so he didnt listen...then I started packing my stuff.  He came in and he was really upset and then I cried again.  We talked a long time and we made up...when we woke up this morning everything was fine again...

I'm really scared that I might be manic now...I dont want to be bipolar! I dont want anything else to be wrong with me!! I'm so freakin tired of being the "crazy girl"

I really just want to be okay.  I want to be able to look at a stranger and not think horrible things about them so I feel better about me.  I don't want to be saving up money for implants.  I don't want to cry over nothing.  I want to get up and go to class and not feel like I should be alone in my room instead.  I want to be able to socialize with other people.  I don't want to have fifteen doctors.  I'd like to get up in the morning and for once not take pills.  

I just feel trapped in a life I don't want

It really seriously blows



Me - red shoes
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